popedish | "New York Daily News" dishes dirt but loves Carly

Tabloid drama is 'Dirt' poor on FX by David Bianculli

In tonight's new FX drama series "Dirt," Courteney Cox stars as the ruthless editor-in-chief of a supermarket tabloid. As both the leading lady and one of the show's executive producers, Cox succeeds in returning to TV in a part that is the polar opposite of her likable Monica on the hit NBC sitcom "Friends."

It's one of the only successes the show can boast. Based on the first three episodes provided for preview, "Dirt" is a rare misfire from the drama-development folks at FX. It's a show where neither the world being created nor the characters populating it are remotely convincing - or interesting.

The series premieres tonight at 10 with a striking image as Lucy Spiller (Cox), editor of Dirt magazine and its more upscale sister publication Now, attends a Hollywood party in a flowing, deep red gown. Cox wears an even more exaggeratedly flowing red gown in the credits, lording it over all of Hollywood like a glamorous monster threatening the entire twinkling territory.

That analogy isn't far off, as Lucy barks orders, slogans and philosophies to cowering staff members at editorial meetings, and even to her nervously obsequious Hollywood contacts.

"If you don't start using your power, you will lose it!" she advises one Hollywood player.

"As much as you all hate to admit it, you need me," she tells another.

And my favorite, told firmly to her staff and employing a term Lucy uses more than once: "This baby picture is what Wal-Mart Mommy wants!"

Well, this TV series is not what TV-Critic Daddy wants.

Of all the supporting characters, only a few make any initial impact. One is Ian Hart (who played John Lennon in the early Beatles biography "Backbeat"), as Don Konkey, a "functioning schizophrenic" who, despite surrealistic visions and aggressive verbal tics, is both Lucy's best photographer and her best friend. Alexandra Breckenridge has one good early scene as Willa, a young reporter at Drrt. Shannyn Sossamon provides ethereal style as Kira Klay, an actress whose beauty Don is unable to forget, and Carly Pope smolders as a sexy drug dealer nicknamed "Garbo."

For the most part, though, "Dirt" seems as false as "Entourage," despite being a comedy, seems real. Here, the actors playing dynamic movie stars - Josh Stewart and Laura Allen - aren't magnetic enough to stick to refrigerator doors. There's no one, really, to root for or care about, as everyone jockeys for position to survive, thrive and devour.

Created by Matthew Carnahan and coexecutive-produced by David Arquette and Joel Fields, the series at least provides some gruesome and unintentionally amusing moments - sometimes simultaneously. In one episode, Don works his way past security at a hospital ICU by chopping off one of his own fingers.

He gets the photo, but it's a trick that will work, at best, only nine more times.